Click to download the all-new text-based adventure:

DORK—A Terrible Game for Terribly Lonely and/or Existentially Challenged Humans

Version 1.2

Unzip the file, open “play.html”

Dev Notes:

Hey, y’all!

If you happen to know me in real life, or have taken some time to read through the posts on this site, you probably know that I’m a massive nerd. Well, that has finally come to fruition with version 1.0 of my first text-based adventure. It’s like Zork, except

  1. Better
  2. Profane
  3. 100% Completely ShurikenKat

It’s chock flippin’ full of references to books (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, especially), Role-Playing Game cliches (Such as ridiculous items and annoying inventory filler), and meta humor (Using item descriptions and other means to address the player and the developer directly). And, not to mention, a beautiful, hand-crafted, high-octane guest cameo from Gordon Ramsay.

That should give you a pretty little picture of just how much of an excitingly explicit roller coaster you’re about to subject your ass to.

Changelog:

Release 1.2: Clarified that a certain stump does indeed exist, as well as fine tuning the new content. East is now West, but only in one instance of such terminology… Sorry for anyone who was struggling to leave the Kitchen.

Release 1.1: Added several new objects, one new location, and fixed typobobs/shovelcode

Release 1.0: Original Release